This list really starts with number 2 because the most important part of this checklist is that you consented at one point or another. If you feel like this list describes you and you did not meet the criteria for number 1, please reach out for help.
- You consented to a consensually toxic or abusive relationship.
- Your partner humiliates you by calling you names like “cunt, bitch, whore,” etc.
- Control is a key factor in how they engage with you such as monitoring your behavior.
- They blame you for their own abusive behavior, “If you didn’t make me so angry I wouldn’t have…”
- Your partner frequently gaslights you by denying facts and toxic or abusive behavior.
- You are insulted in creative and backhanded ways, like, “Your big ears are lovely.”
- Whether you are polyamorous, monogamous, or something in between, your partner acts out their jealousy and possessiveness.
- Sometimes they lash out at you for no fault of your own. Like hitting you in the back of the head when they’re frustrated by a project.
- Speaking of hitting you in the head, did you know you can get a nose bleed from being boxed around?
- You can also get a nose bleed if they ram your face into the carpeted floor. You may also get carpet burn on your forehead.
- In public, your partner embarrasses you like giving up intimate details of your sex life.
- Your partner might take unflattering photos of you. The pictures could be posted to social media.
- Oftentimes your partner hints that they’ve started an OnlyFans account without your permission.
- They criticize your hard work or the fact that you’ve fallen behind on your chores despite depression.
- Your partner maintains strict control over your social media accounts, even requiring you to ask permission to change your passwords.
- They read your personal, private messages and emails and reference them in conversations.
- With or without your knowledge, they track your location and movement. This could be through an app like Life360 or a hidden car tracker.
- They demand all your time and attention to the detriment of your other relationships.
- Your partner might claim their personal problems are somehow your fault. For example, they blame you for being late to a meeting when you had nothing to do with it.
- Manipulation is their bread and butter. “You don’t want to disappoint me, do you?”
- They relish the bruises on your face and promise to try harder next time they’re punching you.
- You are habitually threated with physical violence in order to modify your behavior.
- Your partner controls your food intake with no explanation. “You’re not eating lunch today.”
- Despite a known history of childhood abuse, they may yell loudly to frighten and trigger you.
This was a fun list to make. Remember kids, you can’t effectively abuse your partners if you don’t know them well enough. This list might have just been a “24 Ways to Fuck with me Specifically” for all I know.