BDSM Thought Experiments: Irrevocable Consent and Memory Loss

My Master and I play the question game all the time. Which basically means, we take turns asking random things. This time, my question was, “If I had amnesia, would you consider my irrevocable consent revoked?” It’s an interesting notion because how irrevocable is it, then, if his answer is yes?

Amnesia can be caused by a variety of factors including injury, illness, or substance abuse. If you consider how frequently someone like me takes blows to the head, it’s something important to question.

Consent is an active part of most healthy and respectful BDSM or vanilla sexual relationship. It involves actively seeking and participatory receiving of agreement from partners before engaging in activities. However, navigating consent can become complex in the context of memory loss, like amnesia.

That being said, my Master and I practice something called irrevocable consent. You can read more about that here on Hannah the Scribe’s blog post “What Makes Irrevocable Consent Okay” or “Why I Chose Irrevocable Consent as a Label, What It Means to Me, and Why I Write About It.” To summarize, “no safe words, no limits.” I do not have the power to end my relationship, play, dynamic, etc. This is how I wanted it when I consented. This is how I currently want things, though now I consider it a moot point. I consented to slavery. Wanting things doesn’t matter.

If I had my memory of the last few years erased, would I want my consent revoked? Or rather, would the person I be like to? I’d like to think that I wouldn’t. I honor my commitments and I hope this other version of myself would as well. Sure, I wouldn’t know the ins and outs of what giving that consent once looked like. However, I would know that I gave it based on these blog posts and personal anecdotes from friends and family.

There would be a lot of growing pains, too. I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons in the last few years. Things hard won. A peace I never knew existed before Master. Losing that would be an immeasurable back-step. Going back to that chaos, would he even still want me?

Okay, well, I asked him and he said he would still want me. 😛