Where to Find Polyamorous and Kinky Partners


It’s all well and good to decide you’re polyamorous but the next step is finding the loves of your life. How do you flag as polyamorous in public? Besides wearing a T-shirt that says “poly and looking,” how do we find potential partners?

Dating Apps

The simplest answer is often the best. Being open about who you are and what you’re looking for on dating apps is the tried and true method. I personally have found several amazing partners from the apps.

OkCupid is what I’ve had the most luck on, personally. I found my Master on there. The match percentages are interesting, but ultimately useless. If you’re under an 80% threshold you won’t make a good match, but being above it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll make a good match.


Fetlife is not a dating app, however, it is a way to find potential partners. I found that being open on my page, frequenting events, and paying attention to who follows me as the best way to find potential partners.

For instance, I met a Dom at an event (MAsT Houston) and added him on Fetlife. I spent a while vetting him and watching him post before messaging him and asking for his Telegram username.


The easiest network of people to work with is a polyamorous friend group. Join a local polyamorous group and make some friends! They’ll help you through unique hardships and celebrations as a polyamorous person.


Whether you use OkCupid or your friends matchmake for you, finding a polyamorous partner isn’t easy. However, the results are completely worth fighting for. Life your fantasy and be happy.