Most people do BDSM for psychologically healthy reasons. It is with those people in mind that this is being written. Very early on in dating, they are transparent about needs, are willing to be vulnerable, set aside ego, and maintain those throughout the relationship to the best of their ability.
Healthy dynamics have:
- Commitment to communication
- High level of trust
- Focus on partner’s happiness
- Co-construction of a reality that satisfies needs of both partners
- Compatibility doesn’t mean identical kinks
- Use of deeper protocols when issues arise
What level of commitment are you and they willing to make towards communication? Complete transparency?
Do you leave yourself vulnerable to trusting me with your body and soul, boy? Do you leave yourself vulnerable to trusting me with letting you hold it, Ma’am?
Compatibility doesn’t mean identical kinks. One does not need to meet every inexhaustible fantasy reservoir our minds think up to be compatible in bed or in mind. It’s about how you make the ones you do match matter. Or, sometimes in M/s case, it doesn’t matter if only the Master wants it. It will happen.